PoliceLink

Law Enforcement Improvement Policy

 

In order to provide you, the customer, with the best possible service, we ask that you take a few minutes to complete this critique.

1. During your arrest were you advised of your rights in a timely manner?

 

___ Yes

___ No

___ What rights?

2. If your attitude at the time of arrest required the use of force, how would you rate the application of said force?

 

___ Too much

___ Not enough

___ Just right

3. If an arrest warrant was used during your arrest, what type was it?

___ Consensual

___ Court ordered

___ Police ordered

4. When you were handcuffed, how would you rate their use?

___ Too tight

___ Not tight enough

___ Too loose

___ Not loose enough

___ Just right

5. For what crime were you arrested?

___ Homicide

___ Rape

___ Robbery

___ DUI

___ Public Stupidity

___ Public Mopery with Intent to Gawk

___ Other

6. During your arrest, was the officer's commentary directed at you politically correct?

___ Yes

___ No

7. During your ride to jail, how many times did the officer's driving habits cause your face to impact with the silent partner?

___ Once

___ Twice

___ Three times

___ I can't remember

8. Once you arrived at our jail, how were you removed from the vehicle?

___ Through the car door

___ Through the trunk

___ From the trunk

___ Through the wing window

___ Off the bumper

9. Have you taken advantage of our department's free attitude adjustment program?'

___ Yes

___ No

___ Not yet

10. How would you rate the food at our jail in comparison with food at other jails you have visited?

___ Excellent

___ Good

___ Fair

___ Poor

___ Bad

___ What food?

11. Would you recommend being arrested by our department to your fellow felons?

___ Yes

___ No

___ You gotta be kidding

12. Were you offered an opportunity to confess to the crime you were arrested for?

___ Yes

___ No

13. Were you offered an opportunity to confess to the crime you were not arrested for?

___ Yes

___ No

14. Our department is offering a Time Saver Program whereby you can sign all forms ahead of time, and we will fill in the blanks later. Would you be interested in such a program?

___ Yes

___ No

___ Does X count as a signature?

Thank you for your participation!

 

Shortly after the Post Office introduced self-stick stamps, the Probation & Parole Division decided to ask our "customers" to rate their officers.  Needless to say, the officers were pissed about the whole mess, but what could we do?  Self-addressed, stamped, fold-and-seal fliers were placed in the lobby of the office.  There were probably about 100 put out at first.  Those quickly disappeared and more were put out.  This continued throughout the day.  As we were leaving at the end of the day, we started noticing all of the trash in the lobby and the hallways leading away from the office.  You guessed it.  Almost all of the fliers that had been placed for the "customers'" use had the stamps peeled off and were crumpled on the floor.  If they got 5 back in the mail, I would have been surprised.  Best laugh we'd had in a while.

Saved for the future.

thats funny

ROFLMAO This is great! I have never seen this before. I need the laugh, thank you!

That was soooo funny!  LMAO! 

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've come across since I joined PL! I thought I was going to cry I was laughing so hard!

Hilarous!!! I'm still laughing!