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What was the worst day or night you had?  Mine was while working at a low income apartment complex about four years ago.  I was completing my log for the hour when I was informed that it looked like someone fell outside the front door of the building.  I went outside and found one of the residents lying on his back with a small pool of blood by his right hip.  When I drew closer, i could see a foam coming from the side of his mouth and his breathing was haphazard.  PD and Rescue were notified and i was unable to locate a pulse.  I started CPR but his chest felt like jello under my palm.  The first Officer arrived and took over CPR.  It turns out the guy, Anthony Smith, had fallen from his twelfth story AC unit after he had gotten drunk.  He died in front of me and I was helpless to save him.  He had been sober for almost three months when it happened.  Some of the other officers and I had been talking with him, trying to help him get back on the right path for himself.  It struck me deeply when he died. 

Those are tough. We all seem to carry around a bag full of bad memories.

I had a guy that threatened suicide. My partner and I got him some help. A few months later I got called to his house. He shot himself in the chest with a shotgun.

That same partner and friend's unmarked car was rearended in a minor accident. My 16 year-old neice was driving the car that hit him. My 10 year-old neice was a passenger. It didn't look like much of an accident. I was close enough to hear the crunch of metal and looked over to see the aftermath. I pulled my car up and discovered that my 10 year-old neice was not breathing. I attempted CPR but was unsuccessful. The airbag hit her in such a way that it had severed her brain stem. My brother showed up to the scene. It has been 10 years now.

It is amazing what we learn to deal with. So much death and destruction.

N4Sir says ...

Those are tough. We all seem to carry around a bag full of bad memories.

I had a guy that threatened suicide. My partner and I got him some help. A few months later I got called to his house. He shot himself in the chest with a shotgun.

That same partner and friend's unmarked car was rearended in a minor accident. My 16 year-old neice was driving the car that hit him. My 10 year-old neice was a passenger. It didn't look like much of an accident. I was close enough to hear the crunch of metal and looked over to see the aftermath. I pulled my car up and discovered that my 10 year-old neice was not breathing. I attempted CPR but was unsuccessful. The airbag hit her in such a way that it had severed her brain stem. My brother showed up to the scene. It has been 10 years now.

It is amazing what we learn to deal with. So much death and destruction.

Oh man! I'm so sorry you had to be there for that.

N4Sir says ...

Thanks goodlight. Isn't amazing what we are able to endure? I think that it is good to tell others about sometimes.

I completely agree. I think we don't enough about what we see and do.

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

goodlight says ...

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

Thanks goodlight, your a good guy.

goodlight says ...

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

Greatly appreciated Goodlight.  One of the small benefits of security at the coast guard base is i very rarely have to deal with situations like that anymore.

JCSegida says ...

goodlight says ...

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

Greatly appreciated Goodlight.  One of the small benefits of security at the coast guard base is i very rarely have to deal with situations like that anymore.

I'm glad for you my friend.

September 6th, 2005.  1727 hours, I was, along with my partners, were pursuing a suspect with multiple felony warrants in a stolen vehicle, I called for sticks and a friend of mine deployed them.  The suspect then ran him down, killing him... Bad day..

In 38 years of police service, I have seen and experienced more death and threats than I ever could have imagined when I first thought of becoming a cop.  However, the worst night and day that I ever spent were in Sept. of 1989 when Hurricane Hugo hit the state of South Carolina.  My son was an F-16 pilot at Shaw AFB and lived with his wife and baby daughter, my first grandchild, off base in a large old house back a dirt road off the beaten path.  His unit was ordered to fly the F-16s up the Wright Patterson in Ohio for safety and of course his family stayed behind.  I called my daughter in law and asked her to drive to Columbia and fly up to PA where we lived and I would pay.  she said that the oldtimers in the area said that hurricanes never were bad that far inland.  At 3:00 AM I was watching the news on TV and the storn was sitting right over Shaw.  I went to work at 8:00AM and my wife called near noon time to tell me that my son had called her and was hysterical.  He was on phone with his wife and she was trapped in bathroom with baby and large trees were falling on the house, through the roof and then line went dead.  I got on phone attempting to call S.C. and all lines were busy in state.  I finally by God's grace got thru to the Sheriff's Office and by chance, the dispatcher knew exactly where I was talking about when I tried to describe the area where they lived.  I rushed home to get my wife with intent to drive to S.C. and till I got home, everything was resolved.  the Sheriff's Dept. got out there and rescued them and all were safe and sound.  I was never so scared in my whole life and still to this day, I relive it in my mind sometimes late at night. 

goodlight says ...

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

Thanks for the offer but I have spoken to a therapist on these issues after realizing that the things you see and experience as a cop are not normal and we need to discuss these things with professionals. I still feel good about myself and realize I did what was best for ME.

JC, thanks for opening the thread. I've spent a lot of my time on this site cracking a joke and laughing. Nothing wrong with that, but I think that you opened a good outlet for some of us to let out the crap that we take in. Sometimes we need to flush the crapper.

goodlight says ...

RetiredCop says ...

goodlight says ...

JC, N4, RC, I want everyone on PL to know that it fhey ever need someone to "talk" to, they can feel free to PM me.

Thanks for the offer but I have spoken to a therapist on these issues after realizing that the things you see and experience as a cop are not normal and we need to discuss these things with professionals. I still feel good about myself and realize I did what was best for ME.

That's good RC. Too many LEO's don't get the help they need.

I agree completely and I blame the departments for their way of thinking. It takes years of training and experience to make an "experienced cop" but they label them as " problem officers" if they have stress related issues. Who the hell would not have issues dealing with the things we deal with on a regular basis. No normal person is ever eqipped to deal with the shit we see. If your department does not offer the assistance needed, go out side to get the help you need. There is NOTHING wrong with admitting that the abnormal dealings we are involved with has an effect on you. We are not "supermen" . just ordinary people doing an extrodinary job. Just my humble opinion. And everyone one of you on the job is worth it!

Ditto RetiredCop!

RetiredCop says ...

N4Sir says ...

Ditto RetiredCop!

I only hope the young cops can learn a valuable lesson from what the old cops have experienced. Then I will know I served a purpose in my career.

That's part of the reason I'm here. I intend to learn as much as I can from my more ... seasoned counterparts.