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Dumbest Criminals My LEO Brothers and Sisters Have Encountered
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Posted 4 months ago This morning at approximately 0300 officers, I was dispatched to a call where an intoxicated male was calling dispatch stating he wanted to go to jail since his girlfriend was there. When I responded to the scene, he was waiting for me at the mailbox at the street and was definitely highly intoxicated. I asked him how much he had to drink and he stated, "too much!" Under arrest for public drunkeness and also charged him with Unlawful Conduct During a 911 call. The idiot had called twice stating he wanted to go to jail and everyone else at the house was "too f_ck_d up to drive." What a real winner. |
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| Posted 4 months ago Had a guy driving down the street flashing his lights and honking his horn. He was stopped and taken in for DUI. In questioning he was asked why he was flashing his light and honking. He simply answered, "I was warning everybody I was coming." Now that's just awesome!! |
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| Posted 4 months ago I don't think the internet has enough space to store all the stupid criminal stories. The following is a true story. The names and places have been changed to protect to the terminally stupid.
911 what's your emergency? I'VE BEEN SHOT!!! Radio to all units, report of a person shot. Respond to 123 Main street. Radio, I'm on scene. I'll be out with a male down inside the restaraunt. Sir, where were you shot? In my neck. Sir, I don't see any blood. Where's the wound? IN MY NECK!! Sir, can you sit up so I can get a better look? I'VE BEEN SHOT IN MY NECK!! Ok, sir. WHEN were you shot? About 2 years ago. And why are you calling today? I need a ride to my grandma's house. Have a nice day, sir. Enjoy your time in our jail for false report of a crime. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. |
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| Posted 4 months ago A friend was cop in Pasadena, CA. New Years morning, about 0300 or so. Guy walking/staggering down the middle of the street pulling a chain. Easy public intoxication. "Hey, why are you pullng that chain?" "Officer, you ever try to PUSH a chain?" Gave the guy a ride home. |
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| Posted 4 months ago Working a midnight and investigating a commercial smash and grab. Wintertime, 1ft of snow on the ground. Car tracks leaving scene. About 20 mins and 1/2 a mile later I am talking with the supervisor when we see a known burglar walking down the street. Didn't fit his style but we interviewed him just because. During our questions he asked: "Do you mind if I ask how they got in?" The Sgt replied: "A rock through the front door glass." The burglar looked suddenly relieved. "Well, then you know it wasn't me! I don't go for those technical jobs." Evidently a rock was too sophisticated a tool for his M.O. |
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| Posted 4 months ago I reponded to a hit and run one night. There was a trail of debris and fluids a blind man could follow leading away. I followed it a few blocks to the local bar and found the run vehicle parked in the handicap spot no less. I found the owner in the bar drinking. Of course she denied ever hitting anyone. She claimed the damage was old on her truck. After I arrested her I asked her why she left the scene after hitting the car. She continue to deny everything. So I asked her why she went to the bar just a few blocks from where she hit the car. She replied "you'd need a drink to after being in a crash that bad." I reject your reality and submit my own. |
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| Posted 4 months ago Guy robs a party store with an SKS. Police get in a foot chase with him and shoot at him when he turns on them with the SKS. Guy hides the SKS in some bushes at an apartment complex and was able to get out of the perimeter. The next day, during daylight hours, guy goes back to retrieve his gun. There were two people sitting on the patio of the apartment next to the bush where the guy hid the gun. He makes small talk with the people, grabs his gun, and walks away. Police are called and guy gets arrest with gun in his vehicle. |
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| Posted 4 months ago There had been a rash of B&E's from boats at a marina. We developed information on some juvenile suspects and after questioning at their high school pinned them for the theft of a VCR and some liquor from one of the boats. A couple of days later I got a call from a boat owner who said that when he got to his boat he found his camera sitting on the aft(rear) deck. He indicated he didn't remember leaving it there and decided to get the film developed. After developing the film he found pictures on his camera of some juveniles that he did not know. After just a little investigation I learned that another group of juveniles from the same high school had heard about the first group doing the B&E's. They figured they too would get in on the action and easy grabs. After our initial visit to the high school regarding the first group of juvies the second group heard about it and got scared and figured they'd better return what they had taken from the boats they were on before anyone missed it and the B&E's were reported. So they took the camera back and placed it on the deck not wanting to break into the boat again to return it. There problem was when they had the camera they took it to school and photographed themselves and their friends in the library and cafeteria. However, the dumb s**ts forgot to take the film out before they returned the camera. There's no better evidence than thieves providing their own mug shots to you; it makes for an easy collar. |
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| Posted 4 months ago Responded to a robbery just occurred at the local Perkins, employee stabbed. On arrival, secured scene. Suspect arrested about 20 minutes later at his home. How? He came in, ordered food, wrote out a personal check to pay for the food, then robbed the place. What an idiot. |
