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Ok, a few questions: Be honest with yourself- did you see this coming? Has she expressed that she is unhappy? Do you want to save your marriage, or have you fallen out of love as well? Are there children involved?

Obvious answer: get a lawyer, or at the very least speak to one. Also, ask her where this came from, and if it is something that can be fixed (if you want to). She may just be at her wits end for whatever reason, and not actually dead set on divorce

sorry to hear that ,pray about it, what was so bad you cant fix it?hate for you to waste 5 years of yall life and the rest of your childs.

The first question would be why?  Is it something you both want. I 've been thru divorce....and usually it's not that the couple has fallen out of love so much as one or the other has fallen in love again.  You may have seen it coming, but did you try to find out why? I'm not being mean asking these, it's experience asking.  I saw mine coming, and deep down knew the reason, but I  didn't want to know it.  Not blaming you or her, but the grass is not always greener on the other side, and the sad thing is the one's that suffer most are the kids. Weekends here, weekdays there. Kids are used as shields, bargaining tools, everything but what they should be and it gets nasty, and it gets contagious. Mom and Dad did it so why not me?

I snuffed my nose at counselling......worst mistake I made. Thought I knew it all, and I didn't need it.  If you haven't done so, at least give it a try.  Instead of teaching your child to try to fix something first, you're saying if it isn't working right, walk away from it.  Try to sit down and civily try to discuss what the problems are and see if they can be fixed.  Some can't and the only thing you can do then is walk, but at least your kids can see that you both tried. People do grow apart, sad thing is they see it coming on slowly and do nothing to try and fix it in the early stages, then it's too late.

If it comes down to it's the end......period, get seperate attorneys....file your paper work and do what's best for the interest of the child above all else, but let the attorney guide you in that aspect.  Most likely a guardian at litem will be appointed for the kid if it gets ugly, and in the words of a most wise Juvenile Judge I baliff part time for, who do you want to decide the future of your child, us, (court and attorneys) or you. Who knows what's best for that child?

Best of Luck to you, whatever way it turns out, there is life after divorce if that happens. Just put your child's welfare first, and not between you two.

Time heals all. I think that is the most true saying I have ever heard. If your wife is dead set on the D, then you probably cant change things. Once we women get it into our heads that we dont want something, then it is hard to change our minds. We start thinking wow, if he can do all this stuff differently now, why didnt he listen when I was telling him all along things were wrong? Why do people start doing things right only when they think they are losing? Why not do things right from the get go? Time and circumstances change people and if you dont change with them, you get lost and cant recover. I stayed in a marriage for years longer than I should have. I did it for the kids. I know now that what my kids saw and went through, was way worse than being raised by a single parent. And if I must say so, I have done a great job. My sons dad has not been involved at all. Did only the minimum requirements of a single dad. Now, my sons dont have much to do with him at all. Just remember, if it has to happen, make it easy on the kids. No matter how bitter you may be toward each other, the kids have to know they are still loved and the most important consideration. Kids are resiliant and can heal faster than we give them credit for. Hang in there and things will work out how they are meant to. I am praying for you and your family.

I can understand....Sunday is my anniversary, there wont be a 7th.  There is no going back for me, we are great friends, but I am emotionally not there and do not want to stay. It has been oming on for years, I was just in denial.   We do not have kids, our kids are from previous relationships and are grown.  So there is nothing really to fight over.  I want what I had coming in and he can take what he had, and his retiredment.. lock stock and barrell. 

I just want out.  I can say that was my last trip down the isle, It wont happen to me again...

Good luck to you...

Been married 17yrs & together for 20yrs. Have been split up numerous times. Sometimes being apart helps clear the air and get things back on track. However, if this isn't the case you need to get an attorney. Good luck!

SO sorry this is happening to you. I have just gone through it myself. Married 13 years. We had no kids together thank God. Be sure and get an attorney, if you can do it uncontested fine, use your attorney for the uncontested. That way if things go south, and they will, you will be protected. I found out I was married but my wife as not. We had been through a lot together too. I was surprised as hell when I discovered this. Fortunately it had not been going on too long. Sometimes they will talk things down to try and get your guard down. Don't fall for that, if it is over, either from you or you know in your gut that it is over for her PROTECT YOURSELF.

SORRY TO HEAR THAT FOR YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE. ITS A HARD THING TO DEAL WITH NO MATTER WHAT SIDE YOU ATTACK IT FROM. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 21 YEARS AND THE DIVORCE WAS MY IDEA. I DRUG MY HEALS FOR OVER A YEAR AND DIDNT REALLY CONVINCE HER THAT I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT MY REASONS WHY. WE ARE CLOSE TO ENDING IT NOW AS WE BOTH WANT AND NEED TO MOVE ON. I SAY THAT TO SAY THIS, COMMUNICATE!! IF YOU DONT WANT IT TO BE OVER THEN SAY SO. GIVE HER THE CHANCE TO STATE HER SIDE AND LISTEN TO HER. TALK, TALK, TALK. TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT IF EITHER OF YOU STILL LOVE EACHOTHER BEYOND "FRIENDLY" LOVE. IF NOT TRY YOUR BEST TO KEEP THINGS CORDIAL FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN. TAKE THE ADVICE AND GET AN ATTORNEY. THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH BOTH OF YOU SITTING DOWN AND REACHING AN AGREEMENT, WRITE IT DOWN AND THEN TAKE IT TO AN ATTORNEY. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU BOTH USE THAT SAME ATTORNEY OR YOU EACH HAVE TEN ATTORNEYS. THEY CANT DO ANYTHING UNTIL THE TWO OF YOU AGREE ON IT. IF EITHER OF YOU HAVE A "FRIEND" ON THE SIDE, IT CAN BE USED IN COURT ALONG WITH ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE. TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM FINGERPOINTING IF AT ALL POSSIBLE- BOTH OF YOU. THIS TO WILL PASS AND YOU WILL MAKE IT TO BETTER TIMES. IT WONT BE EASY AT ALL. YOU WILL GO THOUGH TIMES OF HURT AND ANGER. DONT BE AFRAID OR ASHAMED TO REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT. THAT'S WHY GOD GAVE YOU FRIENDS. AS POSTED BY OTHERS, PM ME IF I CAN HELP YOU. I DONT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BUT I WILL LISTEN. GOOD LUCK.

Best advice I can give you is to try and work it out with out an attorney.  When they get involved no one wins.  Even if you think you might be giving up too much, in the end it will save you a lot of money and headaches.  I was lucky enough to work things out without one and walked away with my retirement, all of "my" stuff, and we split the profit once we sold the house and split the cash in the bank.  Of course we didn't have kids so that made it a lot easier.  Best of luck and remember that this might be the best thing that every happened to you. 

Life changes when we least expect it.  Stay strong.  You will be amazed at what you can do.