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(My Current PD) It was a school day, about 3:45'ish, my dispatcher called a major one accident with in our limits along the frontage road with the vehicle being on fire. Upon checking the area i saw no accident, but in the distance i saw dark somke is was 1/4 of mile out of my city limts, i advised my dispatcher and also that i was going to check it out. As i got closer i observed a truck fully engulfed in fire (like a big ball), i told my dispatcher to call the respected city and for them to get ther fire department out to location. When i got off of my unit a man came up to me demanding for a fire extangusher (i hope i spelled that right) crying. I asked him why, the man replied in a terrorifed vioce "there is a laddy trapped in the truck (this might be hard for some to read, for warned). I looked harder into the truck and then i heard a voice screaming for help and dear life, i did see a female in the truck. I advised my dispatcher and had to tell people to get back because there was gasoline around the truck, telling them nothing less than a fire truck could help her. i had people calling heartless and cold hearted. there was nothing that could be done, i had to keep the other people safe there was no way to even get close to the truck the heart was to much. i told my dispatcher to call again and tell them to hurry. i saw the woman moving so fast to the pain, screaming, and then after 15 seconds heard nothing no more, i knew what happened she died. Ok now here is the complete story (this might be harder for some to read, for warned), talk about freak accident. The driver of the truck was speeding home to tend to her other children, with her baby in the car seat behind the driver, lost control of her truck rolled orver hitting a state sign that hit a school bus, this sign hit the school bus right were a boy was sitting and killed him, the truck then hit a metal billborad sign causing it to fully catch on fire, the impact cuase the baby to get lodged under the drivers seat (which the baby died upon impact) and the hole time of the fire the females husband was seeing everything becuase he was behind her in the traffic lane. When i found out everything i wanted to break down, i thought of my son, then i found out people wanted to try and sue the first responders. its hard when you can't do anything to help, you helpless, usless, good for nothing. One of my investigaors told me its hard but you can't help everyone only the ones you can, only the ones that can be helped and saved. i could sleep for days because every time i closed my eyes i picture it all over again, like if it was just yesterday. THINGS YOU WISH YOU CAN FOR GET BUT CAN'T. To this day i still feel bad, like i didnt do enough and try to think what i could have done that would have saved her life.

so many views and  no input, or own incidents wow

This is a very sad situation. In  my personal opinion you have done everything you could. Even if you have managed to endanger yourself if not received serious injuries attempting to rescue the departed it is likely she would have passed anyway. If she survived the rescue she would have plenty of torment from her burns possibly dying. If someone stops moving after 15 seconds in a fire it has been too late. We are not superman even though people look to us for all the answers. The best you can do is just that, your best. Your pain will stay with you for a long, long time replaying the situation over and over with questions of what if? If things start to get bad, check and see if your department has a crisis intervention team to speak to, they do wonders here. Keep your chin up and your faith.

Thank You so much sipowitz65 and liabemtl for your words of support

JLG310

Most of us has had a bad experience or two. I have had several experiences that i have lost sleep over myself. When your in this proffession, it is bound to happen. The only thing you can do is keep your head up and drive on. Try to think of all the people that you have made a difference for. I know this is hard to do, considering the situation, but if you don't, it can/might drive you crazy. It's situations like yours that burn-out LEO's.

YOU DID YOUR BEST. IF IT WAS EASY, THE BY-STANDERS WOULD WANT THIS JOB TOO AND NOT JUST STAND THERE FLAPPING THEIR COLLECTIVE GUMS. THATS WHY I DONT DO ACCIDENT RECON ANY MORE. I SEE ENOUGH ON PATROL. GOD BLESS.

I was working patrol when I received a call of an accidental shooting.  I rushed to the location and was directed inside an apartment where the victim was said to be.  I entered the apartment and found the victim, a four year old little boy, laying on his back in a pool of blood.  I knelt down to determine his injuries and noted that he was moaning and sort of twitching.  Thinking the child was conscious, I began to try and calm him down and assure him that people were coming to help him get better.  I noted that he was bleeding from the head area.  As I consoled him I looked around and saw a 12 guage shotgun nearby.  Then, to my horror about  four feet away, I saw the back of the childs skull and a large portion of his brain still within the skull.  It was then I realized that the child was dead. 

I realized then that the child was the same approximate age of my own son.  Medics finally arrived and advised me that the child was deceased.  I lost it.  Tears welled up in my eyes because of the loss of this innocent child.  It turned out that the deceased and another child had found a shotgun in a nearby closet and the other child picked it up and pointed it at the head of the victim.  The victim was shot in the rear area of the skull. 

When I got home and saw my son I hugged him tightly and started crying.  I tried to explain to my now ex-wife what happened, but, she shut me off and said that she did not want to hear about it.  In those days we did not have Psychologists, Chaplins or counselors to help us.  So I had to suck it up and live with it with no one to give me help or  give me direction.  No one to help me with the horror I experienced that day.  I will never forget that child as long as I live.

Wow, I hope everyone remembers that your first duty is to go home safely at night.  Sometimes you just can't do anything.  Getting hurt or killed doesn't help anyone and if you aren't on duty when you could have been, someone else will suffer.  The worst thing, for me, was an eight year old girl describing how a trusted "friend of the family" raped her.  She was so calm and innocent, not even realizing the magnitude of what had happened.  While she was describing being anally raped, I was trying to keep a straight face and not show the horror of what I was hearing.  I went home and cried for a couple of hours.

The story had a good ending.  This loser had been to prison before for GSI because the parents didn't want their children to testify.  This mother, however, declared that her children would testify and they did.  He was convicted on multiple charges of Rape and is still in prison, hopefully with "Bubba" doing to him what he did to that child, without lubricant.

I know where u are coming from i have had a similar incident myself, an could not save the life of a child. And after the investigators investigated the incident. They found out that the infant i was trying to save had been in car all day an cooked to death. So i know where u are coming from. These are things that we shall never forget. But Remember that there are more poeple out there that need our help. And that there is only a few of us that can handle what we Do.

J
I know what u mean and feel. The world is lucky to have all of us in law enforcement. Cause certain poeple can't handle it. And some things u will never forget. But u have to look at the brighten side of things to help the next person.

I wanted to share something I would like to forget; I was off duty one night, had just dropped my girlfriend off at home and was nearing the intersection of a two lane city street which I was traveling and a major 4-lane US highway when I saw sparks, flames, then blue lights jet through the intersection to my right. As the blue flashing LEDs faded down the highway at over 100 mph I gazed down the road from the intersection to roughly 150 yards down the highway and looked at what appeared to be two cars sheared in half from the impact. The nearest car had at least two casualties with one woman ejected out onto the shoulder of the highway and a man ejected into the median. I used my POV to block the view of her mangled body as best I could before going to assess her injuries. Before I even noticed the massive injuries, amputations, and partial amputations to the victim I was flagged down by a passing motorist with 3 passengers who identified herself as a nurse, I tried to tell her to just keep going, but she saw what I was seeing and let out an awful shriek before driving off into the night. So I look down at this young mother to be in the throes of death and can see the first responders coming so I just wait. They did what they could, but there was no saving her.
What bothered me the most was looking down at her raised belly. I kept telling myself that it was swelling and bleeding from the trauma, but I knew it and surely enough she was 8 months pregnant. Both the mother and child were deceased after the ER doctors tried an emergency C-section. The fiancé and father of the child had serious injuries, but survived.
While all of this was going on around me other city, state, and county units started piling up on the accident scene for they were chasing some young adult car thieves when one bailed out at another intersection, leaving only the one State unit to follow the stolen car. The idiots blew through a red light at around 120 mph in a desperate attempt to get away. They never would have, but instead they killed a mother and her unborn daughter. The three remaining occupants in the suspect vehicle sustained mostly minor injuries considering what they had just done, but doesn't it usually work out that way? They have been charged and convicted of two counts of 1st degree murder since that night. That doesn't make it better, but at least a measure of justice was done. Every day I drive by that intersection and stop there I can't help but think about the mother with a late night craving for ice cream from McDonalds but the ice cream machine was broken and she left just a little sooner than she should have, without noticing what was coming at her. Then I think, what if I had left 30 seconds sooner and been in front of her at the intersection because I always look, but I know there is no second guessing things like this... just what might have been.
I had to wake my dad up in the middle of the night over that, he is a police vet of over 30 years, but being able to just get it out to him helped me immensely. To any other officer who has gone through the horrific ordeals I would suggest reaching out to a veteran officer you can trust to get it off your chest and hear their input on how they think you can heal from it.

JLG310 - Unfortunately things like this particular incident that you were part of stay with you no matter how much you want to forget and even over time it may disapate but every so often it will pop into your head.   You did all you could do because your first priorty was to keep others out harm - the spectators (as many LE officers call them) and they don't realize that their lives may be in jeapardy as well by just being there.  It is a terrible traggedy that both the baby and mother died and the husband/father was right there to see it as well.  The first responder to a scene such as yours has very difficult job - because of the decisions they need to make - try to risk your life saving her and the baby if she/he was still alive (which you didn't know) (while the car is on fire and not knowing exactly when it will go off) or keeping the others out of harm.  Just remember you did what you could have even though it was out of your district.  If anyone is to blame is those in the district for not responding sooner.  Bless you for trying!

trek112 - I totally agree with you, people don't realize what you as a LE officer, fire fighter, EMT, etc. are up against and no they are not superman or superwoman as you have stated they all human beings - who have feelings as well.  JLG310 did all he could do under the circumstances and not knowing the woman's injuries - he could have tried to remove her from the vehicle and killed her even sooner and even himself (if it did explode).  I have seen my husband (who was and EMT - and still does what he can but is limited because of all the surgeries he's been through over the years) rescue people and try to put out fires or stop traffic (which people don't listen and almost run him over). 

Those who try to save lives should be commended for their efforts and not penalized whether by others or through their own mental grief - you should never shut yourself out after something like that - get help whether it's through the department or outside of the department on your own and your family and friends should also support your efforts and good deeds.

To all those that have posted your experiences - I FEEL FOR ALL OF YOU - I have not encountered any of those situations personnally as part of LE or any other agency as of YET, but my heart goes out to all of you.  What I have learned from my school thus far is that we are all human and we do what we can to be best of our ability, knowledge (how we were trained) and the gut instinct that we all have inside ourselves.   Anyone who has lived through these types of situations - traumatic events - should never do it alone, always ask for help and you should have the support of your family members and friends. 

As I mentioned in one of my other posts to another member, I have seen and been part of some of the rescues my husband used to do as an EMT and still tries to help even though he very limited when someone is in distress, even if it is just deverting traffic away from the scene until others arrive as long as one LE officer is already on the scene and no one is seriously injured.  He still carries most of his equipment and under the Good Simaritan rule he does his best.  There were some good parts to his training when he was fully active - he delivered about 5 babies along side the road or highways during that time, just prior to the ambulance arriving because you all know they don't want wait when they want to come out of he womb and fathers or significant others just panic and pull over and call for help if they can (now-a-days).  

When he first had back surgery in the early 1980's that was the first time I saw him trying to rescue a woman, her child and her dog from a car fire.  He just had back surgery less then a year prior to this and with his back brace on and walking with a cane - he dropped his cane - grab the fire extinguisher from the back of our truck - crossed a triple lane highway - hopped over the gaurdrail and crossed another three lane part of the highway (she was going north and we were going south) - I called it on the CB (back then that rescue was needed) meanwhile I was yelling at him for doing it under his condition.  They all got out - he put out the fire and when the police arrived they called in a tow truck and ambulance to make sure that she was okay with her kid.  But all she was worried about is her dog trapped between the luggage in the back seat - so he had to push the luggage aside and get her dog out for her.   Not even a real sincere thank you from anyone but the officer.  The officer stopped traffic both ways so my husband could cross back over to me and our baby daughter in the truck at the time.  Some people just have that instinct built into their genes to help and others will just sit by and do nothing because they are afraid of being sued, he would rather take that chance based on his EMT training than have that person just lay there in the dirt or be stuck in the car.  He's been doing it since he was a teenager - riding along with a LE officer friend and helping him in anyway he could have until later on he took his EMT certification.

I think that we have all been there and wished we hadnt.  I was fresh out of E.V. School (Evidence Tecnician School) and it was my first day back after a loooong three weeks.  I was on the day shift and had reported in a half hour early so I could get my car loaded to start the day.  When I was in the roll call room the midnite guys were all doing paperwork and a call came in for a protection order violation.  I recognized the address as an address that I had been to a million times and had been trying to help the couple through a stressful time.  The midnight guys all groaned because they were ready to go home and did not need the added paper.  I told them I would go ahead and handle it because I had already known the situation and was familiar with the subjects.  While enroute dispatch had updated me that the male half had parked infront of the residence and then disapeared towards the back of the residence.  I arrived on scene and went to the truck parked infront of the house.  I noticed an empty 12 gauge case and a box of deer slugs with 2 missing.  I had dispatch call the RP back and told them to have her stay inside.  I called for more crews to the scene and began a sytimatic search of the surrounding area for the male half.  There were 2 conversion vans parked in the driveway.  We cleared those the best we could because they were locked.  A neighbor came outside and stated that the exterior entrance door to his basement was open and it hadnt been before.  Myself and a couple of other guys went to the doorway careful to stay out of the "Fatal funnel" and I began to listen.  I heard what sounded like movement coming from the basement.  I began to issue orders for the male subject to come out with nothing in his hands with no response it was decided to back out and wait for SWAT due to the locality and the fact that it was believed that the subject had a weapon.  As we were backing out one of the side doors to one of the vans that was parked in the driveway was opened and out steps the male with the shotgun under his chin.  I began to order him to put down the weapon and try to talk to him.  He told me that it wasnt worth it anymore and pulled the trigger.  It was later found that the male had been crouched down in the back of the van where we would have never been able to see him.  The positive side to this incident was that the male had 2 slugs loaded in the gun and was waiting for his estranged wife to come out side to take their children to school at which point he was going to shoot her and then shoot himself.  That day will stick with me for the rest of my life as well as with my brothers who were on scene with me.