Group Forums >> Parenting and Law Enforcement Career >> Soon to be a Daddy!!!!
Soon to be a Daddy!!!!
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Posted about 1 month ago Hello guys, A few months after this upcoming new year, the days of no worries are coming to an end. On March of 2009, I will be a proud father of a baby little girl!!! {God help me}.... no offense to all the girls out there, but as new parents, we all want mini-me's...... but nevertheless, I am very happy that for the first time, I will experience one of life's greatest gifts... children.... My belief is children are what keeps the world from going into non-existence.....if it was not for reproduction, we would all age and leave earth an empty place. As an upcoming new parent and a law enforcement officer, there are a few issues I would like to ask our more experienced members.....I am sure that I will forget some but if there are wholesome discussion on this forum regarding this issue, then the benefits we reap from learning from each other are priceless.... babysitting....wife also works... as a detective, my shifts are nearly impossible to keep up....i work different hours nearly every week and work double shifts nearly three times a week.... additionally, as an LEO, I am leary (sp?) of sending my child to just any babysitter or daycare provider, i pretty much know the history of all the daycare providers where I work, but I am so afraid of letting total strangers/employees take care of my child. Costs of raising children......oh boy, what a phrase!!! Balancing work and raising children...... I am sure that other forum members experienced that while you are taking care of your child, you will be called to a court case or an important follow up to a case arises.....how to handle bosses who demand more of your time... well, I will have more questions later as I feel like I am just rambling on.... lol..... thanks edwin from ohio |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations. My daughter was born in March. There is nothing like em. I wanted a boy so bad. When she was born i was wrapped. She is the light of my life. I hope all goes well for you. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago CONGRATS!!! Im not a LEO... Not that I didnt want to be, things just happend that I could not control. As a mom, I was the one who worried the most about who was going to watch my child. He is my life and I dont know what I would do if something happend to him. Im very luck I have my family to watch my son. My mom is a gift to me as I was to her. She is so wonderful with my son. But I do agree with some of my friends that have kids. My son will so be going to a preschool one day a week to start out, will at least til Im ready to let my fears go...lol, like that will happen. Its a wonderful thing to experiance... just hold on for the ride and dont blink... they grow so fast. Its not fair!
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations Edwin! Will she be your first child? You are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulation and best wishes. I have two sons who are currently in college. Raising kids is the most rewarding experience of my life. Just enjoy every day, even the bad ones, because before you know it you will be sending her off to school then college, then the wedding and grandchildren. The time will fly buy faster than you think. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago congrats on the baby!!! i have been in detentions for 8 years and i have 2 children. (had one when i started and had another about 2 years after i started here) i have had to get help from family and daycares due to my schedules and my husbands schedule. the only advice i have is never get to dependent on ur childcare... everytime i thought we had it all worked out my shift would change or a family member couldn't do it . but it always works out in the end!!!!!!!!! |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Good job, congratulations Pain is weakness leaving the body. Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Fantastic! Best of luck to you both. As for babysitters, check with your fellow officers. If you trust them, they probably have some good resources or know someone who cares for kids and is "clean" in every way that counts. Check with your DHS office - in Oklahoma, we have an online resource for licensed child care agencies - go for licensed, if that is actively done in your state. Anyway, the day care centers are rated and you can find SOME information on investigations, censures, etc. Finally, talk with DHS staff that you may know through work. They can either tell you horror stories of some centers or point out the good ones. They can also point you in the right direction for more information. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago mmmm says ...
Congrats Edwin!! I agree whole-heartedly with MMMM. They do grow up fast! I ended up raising my daughter and son on my own (when they were in their teens) after the passing of their mother. In addition to LEO work, I also was active in the National Guard. Fortunately, I had several siblings to help out. Both of my children are now well into their 20's, with children of their own (who, incidentally, are also growing up fast). To add to what shellgame said about babysitters and daycare, some churches also have daycare facilities. And, again, check with your siblings/family (if you have any), for the short notice babysitting needs. Or even your neighbors. Good luck! In GOD we trust. (All others get searched). |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congrats Edwin, there's nothing like it in the whole world!!! |
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| Posted about 1 month ago edwin says ...
As to the costs of raising children, I can tell you without a doubt that the investment of time spent with your child will give you a bigger return than anything else you can do or any amount of money you can make (or spend). Start early and develop a habit of making time for her. You can not possibly at this point comprehend the difference it will make in their life AND yours. My kids are 15, 18, and soon to be 22. I can not imagine anything better than having them in my life. There is not enough wealth in the entire world to compete with what we have together. Remember, kids put stress on a marriage and on a parent. You will face battles and discouragements. Take it like a man. Set your mind to win for your family no matter what. Fight like your lives depend on it, they do. You will never be sorry. Go out today and preach the gospel, and if you must, use words. St. Francis of Assisi |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations to the Mrs. and you. I am a LEO and a proud parent of 5. They grow up fast so enjoy every moment. Unfortunately there is no owner’s manual when a child is born, the hospital sends home with you. Without say, love them, protect them, watch them grow and always find time to spend with them. Keep an open line of communication with your child or eventually children. Don't be consumed by your job, because a lot of little moments in a kids life only come by once. I missed a few but was there for many. The school plays, sports, school events, I would not have missed them for the world. I used vacation days, personal days AND EVEN CALLED IN SICK TO BE THERE. The look on my kid’s faces was worth it. It's going to be fun and it's going to take the both of you, yes Daddy changing diapers, bottle feedings and bathing. My kids are all grown now, the youngest is 19 and boy time really flies. I was there for all of the births, it was amazing every time. A natural high and the most beautiful gift your wife can give you. Congratulations again to both of you and May God Bless you both. Joe
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| Posted about 1 month ago Hey brother, Congrates to you and your wife. I have three boys (ages 2, 4, & 10) They are wonderful and will drive you nutts all at the same time. As I have all boys I can't give you any advice on little girls. My wife & I would love to have had a little girl, but I think it's God's way of keeping me out of prison...lol. I only have 3 boys to worry about, you have to worry about all of them. The one thing I will say is this, I know you will want to shower your little one with all of the attention you have time to bestow, just don't forget about the one you currently have (your wife) because when your kids are all grown up & gone, she will be the one who stood behind you and is there with you now. Have fun with them, and just sit back and watch your priorities change. Again, congratulations and good luck! Jason The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke |
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| Posted about 1 month ago CONGRATS MAN I WOULD OF LOVED A LIL GIRL BUT I GOT BLESSED WITH A LIL BOY WHO WAS BORN JUNE 4 AND I LOVE HIM TO DEATH....LIL GIRLS ARE TOTALY DIFF IN ALL WAYS RAISING MY NIECES IS DIFFRENT THAN RAISING MY SON U HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL IN STRIDE....I CANT IMAGINE WHAT MY DAD HAD TO GO THROUGH......I KNOW IT WAS TOUGH ON HIM HAVING A GIRL AND ALL THE PRISONERS WERE SAYEN THINGS ABOUT ME........BUT TRY TO STAY OUT OF PRISON AND CONGRATS AGAIN AND TAKE CARE. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congrats! I was just given a baby girl in July from my beautiful wife. I have 3 other children. It can be exhausting trying to find help with the kids when unexpected training or something else comes up. You really have to rely on family sometimes to get you through. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations on the upcoming blessed event. Hang on, because they grow up so fast you'll wonder where all the time went. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations on your upcoming arrival. My little girl is now 26 years old and has a daughter of her own. I still talk to her everyday. I raised a son as well and we have a wonderful relationship, but there is just something about a father and daughter that no other relationship in your life will ever give you. Just listen to all those country songs by Tim McGraw and the rest about their daughters. So God is giving you a special gift to take care of and enjoy. Have a blessed life. |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congratulations Broken By Faith Renewed By Sacrifice |
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| Posted about 1 month ago Congrats! I feel you on not trusting anyone with your children. We had our second child this past July and my wife hasn't gone back to work yet, but with our oldest, we just worked out our work schedules, dealt with being tired all the time, and when babysitting was needed, relied on family, church members and the closest of friends (who are also parents). |
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| Posted 28 days ago
Get ready for the greatest and most difficult job you will ever have. One look at that little face and within seconds you cannot imagine your life without her. As a Mom of 6 and working as a Customs Officer it can be challenging, remember, your children are young only once and your job will always be there. It is a job, not your life, try and be there for School pageants, sporting events whatever they will remember, trust me my 20 and 20+ still talk about it. (still have three at home)
As Jason mentioned, your wife is still your wife and set up date nights, you need to be friends and still be a couple. The children will grow up and leave.
Babysitting, word of mouth is great, if you have family even better but trust you instincts and don’t be afraid to arrive early or unexpected, you will get a better picture of the person when they do not expect you.
As for the money, I am the greatest bargain shopper ever. haha, hook up with friends, people in the community and clothes/toys swaps are wonderful! Two going to College and University next year, I am just hoping for overtime yikes!
Best wishes and make sure you hear them laugh every day! It is the greatest sound in the world.
Carole
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| Posted 3 days ago Congrats! I have 4 children myself, ranging in ages from 7 to 15. If anyone is interested we would be interested in paying a nominal fee if someone needs 1 or 2 of them. |
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| Posted 3 days ago motorcop221 says ...
I will take one of em off your hands if they are not old enough to talk yet God Bless the Fallen Police Officers...Rest in Peace Momma, I miss you Dearly......
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| Posted 3 days ago Well, first, I must say CONGRATULATIONS! I have a 4 year old little girl, and let me tell you, I always hoped for a boy first, but being a first time parent, I could not have been blessed more with my daughter. They say girls are easier in the beginning, so maybe having a little girl first is a blessing in disguise. Ok, now advice about your questions and concerns...
About the expense of raising a child... When I had my daughter, my husband had just gotten out of the marines 6 months prior and we were still struggling to find good decent jobs since we have just moved back to the US. One thing I was told that stuck true, and provided comfort was "Everything just seems to work itself out." And it is really true. We went through hard times for a while, but she didn't go with out anything she needed.
Daycare is an issue for us, and it will always be an issue. We both work, and like you, I work a crazy schedule, have times where I am on call, and also get called in last second when I'm not on call. It is hard. If you have family turn to them first. Talk to them before the baby comes and see who is willing to help with what and under what circumstances. Next, make sure you and your wife meet several babysitter and agree on a few that you are comfortable with calling in if the need arises.
As for childcare during the day - talk to other officers and see who their children go to. Also talk to the ones who have wives that stay home and care for their children. They may be willing to take another child in for some extra cash and you know your baby is being cared by someone you trust. I don't know what the going rate in Ohio is, but around here I have to pay $135 /week for my 4 year old. It was more per week when she was younger, but after she was potty trained, it went down some.
One suggestion I have is to try and find something that is short, but personal between you and your daughter only. If you have more children later on, you can either include them, or find something between you and them as well. Between my daughter and I (as an example) since I started back to work, we read a book everyday. If I had to work nights, and would not be the one to put her to bed, we lay on her bed, and read the story just before I leave. Also, to add to it, if she is good all week at daycare that weekend she gets to buy a new book. Now that she is getting older, the books are getting bigger and longer, so sometimes we split them up over a few days time. But, this is for just her and I. Sometimes her dad will come in and sit on the bed and listen, but I read the book and she sits with me. This lets her know that I will always make time for her, even when I have other responsibilities to tend to, I will not forget about her.
Her dad is back in the Marine Corps again, and as you can imagine, a crazy shift comes with the title of being a Marine as well. One thing they do is every payday (1st and 15th of every month for military) they go on a Daddy daughter date. On the 1st of the month she picks the date and on the 15th he picks it. It is just them, and sometimes just an afternoon and sometimes it is all day. He started this as soon as she could walk. When he was stationed overseas (Japan & Iraq) he would video chat with her on those days and read her books over the web cam.
You will see, everything will just work out. :-)
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Mine are grown and gone!!!!